The Transportation Security Administration says they are concerned about terrorists going to the ridiculous trouble of surgically implanting bombs in their bodies.

Of course the TSA says the latest full body scanners can’t detect such things, so they’ll have to resort to even more invasive pat downs, or other means of checking you out.

TSA officials admit there is no evidence that terrorists are planning such an inefficient way to blow things up.

Think about it, the cost of implanting a bomb inside yourself go against one of the standards of terrorists, that is to do things as cheaply as possible.  Why not spend the money on a shoulder launched guided anti-aircraft missile?  Also, you couldn’t send the terrorist in to do the job right away, because of recovery time from surgery.  And if the surgeon is not the best in the world at stitching, the scar from the surgery is a dead giveaway, no need for more invasive pat downs.

One report says TSA officials think terrorists would implant bombs in their butt!  Hey buddy, what’s that bulging from your butt?  Why the big ass scar on your butt?  Oh, officer I just had butt implants done in Hollywood, I’m gonna be a big shooting star.  Yeah right!  Butt bomb implants?  Doc, now that I have a bomb in my butt can I sit down?  I suggest keeping off your butt until it’s time to blow up the plane.  Well that’s simple, TSA agents just have to watch for the person who refuses to sit down.

TSA officials also say women could put bombs in their boobs!  Excuse me ma’am but your boobs are oddly shaped, I’m gonna have to cop a feel. By the way, one bomb “expert” in Colorado said the detonator for a boob bomb would be under the boob, so if someone presses down…BOOM!  The next time you check out the scars on that porn star’s boobs it might not be silicone in there. Especially if it’s an evil Muslim porn star, you know those Muslim women like to put bombs in their boobs.  It’d have to bee a woman who hates wearing bras, ’cause you might set it off just by putting on your bra, if that “expert” in Colorado is correct.

Here’s another inefficiency in body bombs: Another report said that the body bombs would have to be set off by the terrorist using a large syringe to inject a chemical into the bomb to make it explode.  How does the terrorist get through security with a large syringe of fluid?  Also, how would passengers on a plane, or bus, or train react if they saw someone whip out a huge syringe and jab it into themselves?  If they jab their stomach passengers might think, oh diabetic.  But what if they jab their boobs, or bend over awkwardly and jab their ass?  Still, how’d they get through security with a syringe?

Reality check: Terrorists don’t have to blow up the plane, or bus, or train or whatever.  They can just blow up the TSA checkpoint, or the TSA agents doing a random check in a random location, it’ll still have the same affect.  Look at what anti-abortion terrorists have done; place bombs in trash dumpsters to take out emergency responders, who where responding to the shooting of people who where trying to go into the abortion clinics.  Simple things like that is how most terrorists think, not “I’m gonna put a bomb in my butt/boobs, wait several weeks while I heal up, then try to get on a plane by going through a security checkpoint designed to find bombs.”

Remember, there is no evidence of such a butt/boob bomb plot.  Officials can only point to a British intelligence report that speculates that terrorists might implant bombs into their bodies.  Anybody remember the last time the U.S. went along with British intelligence?  It was the months leading up to the U.S. invasion of Iraq.  Since then all “intelligence” from the British, about Saddam Hussein and Iraq, have been proven to be faulty or even made up.

A retired FBI bomb expert said body bombs are totally impractical: “While possible, it is much less likely to work than other scenarios. There are more practical ways of doing it.”-Leo West

Apparently President Obama supports the TSA’s latest claims, his spokesman Jay Carney, said that the U.S. must continue to evolve ways to search for terrorists and their bombs.

I think the TSA is run by a bunch of perverts, who’re looking for any excuse to exercise a Homeland Security grope fest on your ass and boobs.