25 June 2013 (12:12 UTC-07 Tango)/16 Sha’ban 1434/04 Tir 1391/18 Wu-Wu (5th month) 4711

“…..I would like not to deal with such issues because it is like shearing a pig: there’s lots of squealing and little fleece.”-Vladimir Putin, President of Russia

President of Russia, Vladimir Putin, says NSA contracted worker Edward Snowden is in Russia, and the United State can’t have him!

Putin said the accusations by the Obama administration and the U.S. government are “ravings and rubbish”.  Snowden has not committed any crimes on Russian territory, and Russia has not signed any extradition deal with the U.S.

Putin also says “Snowden is a free person”, having never worked for Russian intelligence agencies.

Putin says they never expected Snowden to show up on their doorstep: “It is true that Snowden has arrived to Moscow, and it really came as a surprise for us. He arrived as a transit passenger, and didn’t need a visa, or any other documents. As a transit passenger he is entitled to buy a ticket and fly to wherever he wants.”

Foreign Minister, Sergei Lavrov, explained that the “transit zone” Snoweden is residing in is like a neutral zone, meaning that technically Snowden is not in Russia, as long as he remains in the Moscow transit zone.