20 June 2013 (03:04 UTC-07 Tango)/11 Sha’ban 1434/30 Khordad 1391/13 Wu-Wu (5th month) 4711
“This is insane. I’ve never seen so much security!”-a 20 year veteran newspaper editor in Berlin
U.S. President Barack Obama was given a welcome worthy of the Führer, when he arrived in Berlin, Germany!
The entire city of Berlin was locked down, even the Brandenburg Gate was closed to traffic. Reporters with Deutsche Welle said people weren’t even allowed to open their windows, even though it was a hot day and many don’t have air conditioning: “‘Whatever you do, don’t open the windows,’ warns an experienced colleague, as two small figures move about on the roof of the government building opposite. They might be window cleaners, but they’re more likely to be snipers – sure to be targeting us, according to the colleague. It’s not quite clear whether he’s serious. The windows remain closed for safety reasons.”
There’s even reports that a Secret Service agent shoved German President Joachim Gauck, when he tried to greet Obama! Reporters complain that their cell phones have been searched multiple times, the automatron security guards say only “Sorry, we have to do it.”
“Have you seen the American security officer with the thick legs? I’ve got a date with her afterwards!”-one of many German jokes about paranoid U.S. security personnel
At least 8000 polizie were deployed, complete with garish green painted armored vehicles, armed with remote control machine guns mounted on turrets. All for 4000 to 6000 ‘invited’ guests to hear Obama give a hypocritical speech called Peace with Justice.
Obama even ripped off Kennedy and used the hilarious quote “Ich bin ein Berliner” (you see it actually means “I am a jelly donut” in Berlin dialect, because a Berliner is a type of jelly donut. If you want to say you are a resident of the city then you should say “Ich bin Berliner”, drop the “ein”).
Oh, but Obama probably didn’t even realize how many Berliners he prevented from getting to work or errands, because of the massive NAZIistic security.
Berliners had to have special passes to cross certain streets, some gave up after waiting hours at check points.
Many Germans who lived in East Germany during the Cold War said it was like going back in time to Stasi control! Markus Ferber, of the Christian Social Union political group, said Obama’s visit and the domestic spying program in the U.S. amounts to “American-style Stasi tactics.”
Who knows how much this is costing the taxpayers? But polls still show Germans love Obama, someone get the man a toothbrush mustache and red, white & black armband!
It isn’t just that Germans love Obama, it turns out that the United States is the only thing keeping the German economy from crashing.
The United States is the largest investor into the German economy, and 50% of German foreign investments go to the United States. U.S. companies provide at least 800000 jobs to Germans. Germany is the third largest foreign employer in the U.S. (after Canada and United Kingdom. Hah, you thought it would be China)
Oh, but that doesn’t mean the economy is getting better. On the same day that Noble Peace Prize winner Führer Obama arrived to give his Peace with Justice speech, Germany’s second largest Too Big to Jail bank, Commerzbank, announced it would layoff at least 5200 people over the next three years.